A fly wanders back and forth through the air, then lands on the window pane.
It launches itself, flies for two feet, then lands on the glass again.
It continues to walk around, on the glass, never finding the exit.
It doesn't know that there is an opening in the window just a few feet away.
You and I can see the opening because we have the bigger picture.
If only the fly would un-limit itself, get the bigger picture,
and allow itself the freedom and perspective to fly higher,
it could rise above it all and be free.
Instead, it is content to wander aimlessly.
Now I tell you: You are that fly. You know the way out.
But you choose to ignore it.-Inner Voice
My story begins when I was going to the University of Minnesota from 1980 to 1984. It was a time when I was truly happy. My life was not quite as complicated as it is today.
The best times of all were spring and summer (Minnesota winters can be harsh). My best friends in the world were John (at school), LD (at work), and my brother Joe and his wife Candy. I worked for the Minnesota Department of Natural Resources then, doing computer programming odd-jobs.
My early out-of-body experiences taught me that the physical world was superficial, a facade covering the "real" world. I was introverted, so I didn't feel the need to share my experiences with anyone, and I was afraid of the reaction I'd get if I ever did.
I didn't own a car or motorcycle, so I got around mostly by bus or bicycle. I used to spend hours waiting for buses, hours riding on buses, and hours waiting between my classes, so there was always plenty of time for introspection back then. I used that time for development of the psyche: psychic development. At times I was very psychically sensitive. How psychic I was changed from week to week, depending on the meditation/OBE exercises I was doing and how much of my time was taken up by college.
I loved to take long walks and listen to my inner voice. Sometimes it automatically spoke to me as I walked. Other times I would start the conversation by asking, "What is love?" or "What's today's lesson?" and every time I would get a different response, like "Love is the anchor-bolt of the universe." Once I started this inner dialogue, it was easy to maintain the connection. I found that if we take the time to listen to that inner voice deep inside us all, it can teach us things we never dreamed of.
I remember walking around campus with a backpack full of books. Instead of my class books, I had books on spirituality, OBEs, religion, philosophy, psychology, even sociology. I remember finding obscure places on campus to read, like in the basement hallway of Northrop Auditorium. People would walk past me and not say a word. If they could have read my mind, they would have been overwhelmed by the joy inside me, radiating out in all directions. I never wanted to read in one place for too long. After reading for a half-hour, I would have to move to another place. It was almost as if the room had filled up with joy, and couldn't hold any more.
I was an introvert back then. I felt like some kind of freak because weird things were happening to me on a daily basis. No one else around me was having psychic experiences and out-of-body experiences, and when I tried to talk about them, it made people too uncomfortable. It seemed like there was no one I could talk to. Sometimes I would go outside and watch the beautiful college girls walk by the buildings. There were thousands of girls, all of them to me beautiful beyond words. Some were beautiful on the outside, and some were beautiful on the inside--I could feel it psychically. I remember thinking, "There are so many beautiful people. Each is unique. Each has a whole world inside them. How can I pick just one of them as my mate?" At the same time it seemed impossible to find a mate who could begin to understand me; she'd have to be as weird as I am!
I always thought about how grand it would be if I could spend a whole lifetime exploring each and every human being that I met, both men and women. I thought that if I worked hard and developed my psychic abilities well enough, I could learn to explore their minds with my mind.
Not only did I want to "explore" everybody, I also wanted to show everybody who I was too. I saw so many miserable people on the streets and on the buses, and I wanted to tell them how wonderful life can be. I wanted to tell them that happiness doesn't depend on what physical objects you own, where you live or even what you're doing. Happiness is what you feel inside, and each of us can choose to feel happy any time--all the time! No one has to be sad, no matter how bad things seem.
We could view each experience as a learning experience. We could choose to see the love, goodness and truth in the world, in each living thing. We could learn to see ourselves in others and to see others in ourselves. We could learn to accept ourselves for whom we are right now, and choose a straight path into the future to the best "us" we can be. We could learn to accept others as they are right now, love them right now, and know that we are only seeing a small snapshot of that person in time. We can see their potential for spiritual growth over time. We can also see God, because I believe that God is inside each of us. All we need to do is let God out: Show people! Get in touch with the God inside you!
When you view the physical world from an out-of-body perspective, you start to realize that this world is just a playground for spiritual growth and that we're all just "passing through" this place as part of a much larger journey. Trivial things start to take the back seat. Even important things start to take the back seat. What's left in the front seat? Joy. Love. Happiness. Tears. Emotions. Experiences. Laughter. Life. Then you can start to see Life as a journey, and not as a predicament. You can view each experience, good and bad, as a stepping stone to a greater you. And as God works through us, our lessons are given to us like clockwork. Sometimes they're handed to us on a silver platter. Other times they're thrown, like pies, in our faces.